The Love of Catherine

Looking into the world of relationships

Everlasting?

Filed under: Uncategorized — ckim90 at 2:27 pm on Saturday, October 1, 2011

Honestly, I wanted to change my theme because…well I broke up with my boyfriend of two years just a few days ago.  But rather than changing the theme since its my last post anyway, I decided to add my experience with my ex-boyfriend to further analyze love and relationships.

You may think I’m making my post too personal, but…its okay. I think I can handle the criticism. 🙂

I honestly thought I would get married with the guy. I was able to experience the happiness of being with another person, through him. In the past, I was never able to feel a connection with any other guy but when I first met him at the academy I work in, I knew we were meant to be. He was an older brother of a student at the academy and he was waiting in the main office (my office) for his brother’s lesson to be over. We made eye contact and the next day, he came and asked me for my number.

Honestly, how can two people meet and connect that quickly? So, without a second of a doubt, I believed that he was my other half. He told me he believed that as well.

But I guess love isn’t everlasting. We…well, “I” experienced two years of fiery love and until the day he asked to break up, I truly believed he was going to be my future husband. Honestly, we were arguing a lot lately and we both seemed to be losing patience with one another. I guess I should have seen it coming.

But that makes me think. How do people decide who they will marry? There were a few couples around me that have been dating for 3or more years and we all believed that they were going to marry but unfortunately most of them broke up. I honestly feel that that time spent with that person is pointless if its going to end eventually. I honestly want to meet someone, thinking of marriage in our near future.

In my opinion, love is not a one time thing. Love occurs continuously throughout ones lifetime. And for it to lead to marriage, both sides need to meet at a certain level. Basically, those who get married are accepting each other’s flaws and mistakes. Knowing these flaws, they learn to cover for them and build a solid, flawless relationship.



5 Comments

9

   michelle

October 1, 2011 @ 8:09 PM

I am sorry about u and ur boyfriend. But some of the points u mention in ur blog, I don’t agree with, but everyone has different opinions. Love is a everlasting thing, but u just have to find the right person. And not because you are with someone for 2,3 4 yrs means u will spend the rest of ur lives with them. Time changes, peopple changes and so does feelings for one another. But I understand what you mean by saying if u spend so long with someone, u wish that was ur life partner, I too wish the same. I agree when you say “love is a not a one time thing”, but true love is. So its up to you to distinguish b/w those two, if thats your love or your true love. it might sound as if they are the same, but they aren’t. And you were wondering how two people can meet and connect so quickly, well i believe that has to do with destiny. i can go on and on, but let me stop right there. I would of like to hear some more experiences of u n ur ex, since that’s what u said you would be discussing.
sorry if my comment is way too long, but i like talking abut topics like this.

11

   jenny abeles

October 3, 2011 @ 4:01 PM

Catherine, I am so sorry for the heartache you must be feeling, as well as for his bad timing. Doesn’t he know you’re writing a blog about love? Well, come to think of it, this post is about as inherent to the experience of love as any could be. Disappointment and heartbreak seem interwoven with the whole experience, wch is part of what makes it so powerful (…speaking from experience here…). I also think that heartbreak awakens the poet in everyone, and if you are feeling inspired to write more on the subject, you can probably do some amazing writing right now. Good thing we’re moving on to poetry next…

Can I ask, tho’, either in your next post (if you continue this blog as is) or in your poems, can you interrogate some of the statements you’ve made here about love? I mean, really examine them, just for the sake of asking and seeing what you can find out. For example, why do you think love and relationships must lead to marriage? What is this “certain level” two people must meet on? Why do we/you want so badly to get married? What alternatives to marriage are there? What would “a solid, flawless relationship” look like, and is it possible? Deliberating upon these questions might lead to some interesting results in your writing–sincere self-examination usually does.

Your posts about relationships have been so sensitive and subtle, and I hope you know this is because of you–your mind, heart, etc.–not because of the fact that you were in a relationship. So keep writing.

14

   jennchen115

October 4, 2011 @ 6:42 PM

Sorry to hear about the breakup. =/
I had just came across your blog. Scrolled down to the bottom first to i can read it in order. I was shocked when I saw this post.

Well there’s the saying that, “you’ll never meet the right one if you don’t let the wrong one go.”

Maybe it’s time to stop searching for love and just let love find you on it’s own. I’m sure one day you’ll meet someone. After all, we’re all still young! =)

I have a friend who’s in a 6 yr relationship. It’s deep. But marriage is still far off their minds.

Have you seen the wongfu youtube video? It’s titled “strangers again” i think you would really enjoy that video. Its about the steps in a relationship from beginning to end. very relative to almost everyone’s relationship!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY

here’s the link. In case you haven’t seen it yet.

15

   Steve Mendoza

October 17, 2011 @ 11:03 AM

Damn this is tough to read…and I thought I had it worse with my own past girlfriends. I have also been hurt so so many times. I had someone who I thought I was going to marry….until that girl turned out to be a bit of a jerk.

Nicely done writing about it, I’m sorry you wrote about something that bothered you a lot

16

   madycha

October 19, 2011 @ 12:05 AM

Hi Catherine 🙂 In your blog posts You wrote about your different experiences with relationships and love. The writing was easy, clear to understand and conversational. In “Baby steps?…or not” you wrote about your relationship with your brother’s friend. The next day he told you it wouldn’t work out and that was the end of their relationship. That was quick! In “Expecting More” you described how you met your best friend. He consoled you while you were having issues with other relationships and finally told you his feelings for you. But it wasn’t mutual. I’ve been there, doesn’t that suck? In “Everlasting” you wrote about the recent end to your 2 year relationship. You also stated your belief that when dating you consider marriage to be in the future.

The overall theme in these blog posts are about love. There seem to be different kinds of love explored here. From the “crush” (which you describe as love), to the one sided love your friend had for you, to the “fiery love” that you experienced with your late boyfriend.

I like that your writing is very down to earth almost as if you were friends with your readers. The last paragraphs in the posts conclude so nicely as well. Something you do in all of the posts is ask questions as well as in your titles. It’s great that you’ve looked at your work retrospectively and brought out questions you are pondering. Your titles are interestingly arranged so that they seem to build up on each other and climax in time “Baby steps?..or not” to “Expecting More” and then to “Everlasting?”.

I enjoyed reading your blogs. You’re so bold to share your personal experiences! One thing I would suggest is to explain how these experiences made you feel. Another is to try to make sure you are not being too repetitive. In “Everlasting?” you write “honestly” 6 times. Many times you start your sentences with that word too. I understand that it’s part of that conversational style but there are other possible ways to vary your sentences. Finally, maybe you can explain your perspective on love and why you believe what you believe about it.

I could name all the popular sappy romance movies I know but you probably know them too. One film I REALLY recommend is “Before Sunrise” directed by Richard Linklater. I think you’d like it. As for music “I was Made for You” by She & Him reminds me of your first experience with your boyfriend at the academy.
“Like Someone in Love” by Frank Sinatra is another one. This just fits perfectly with your belief in a classic romantic love and its Frank Sinatra!

Good Job Catherine 🙂

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