The Love of Catherine

Looking into the world of relationships

Filed under: Uncategorized — ckim90 at 3:46 pm on Tuesday, November 15, 2011

There were plenty of other seats in the classroom but to my luck, Mrs. Lee sat you in the seat next to mine. All that day, I didn’t hear a word the teacher said. I stared at your profile, which you didn’t seem to mind at all. You would glance at me now and then and give a slight smile, which you probably never knew but that small grin was enough to make me wet my pants. I sat still so nobody would notice but when everybody went out for recess, I silently called Mrs. Lee over and she helped me dry my clothes. Luckily, it didn’t smell too much.

You didn’t have to ask me if I wanted to walk home with you that day because I was already planning in my head the direction that our conversation would be heading as we made our way home.

All throughout middle school, junior high school, and high school, we were right next to each other. We went through every relationship together. All the tears and laughter we shared as next door neighbors. Things took an immediate turn the day you asked me to be your prom date. If only you didn’t ask me.



4 Comments

21

   michelle

November 15, 2011 @ 5:08 PM

I love your story line as well. I love the line ” that small grin was enough to make me wet my pants”. Your story defintely kept us in suspense as well, which is a great thing because you don’t want to give too much information all at once. Keeping us in suspense makes us want to come back and read to see what happen next. I am looking foward for the ocntinuation of this because i want to know what happens when he asked you to prom.

23

   jenny abeles

November 28, 2011 @ 9:58 AM

hi Catherine. What you’ve written so far seems like great back story for whatever happens at the prom (it sounds like it might be tragic or at least regrettable). You have the opportunity to experiment with your narrative a little bit. Right now you’ve arranged your plot-line chronologically (first this happened, then this, then…). You could also throw us right into the action of the prom and offer flashbacks to all this sweet childhood stuff. If done well, this kind of story-telling might actually increase the tension and drama of the piece.

Also, how can you further develop these characters? What details can you add that helps us understand the particular personalities, desires, conflicts at work here?

You’ve made a great start!

36

   jenny abeles

December 15, 2011 @ 10:44 AM

Did you have questions for your readers about how to proceed, Catherine?

46

   jenny abeles

December 30, 2011 @ 10:06 AM

Hi Catherine. You began the semester quite strong, but four absences, some missing assignments–including the retrospective and portfolio 3–have removed 37 points from your final grade, which adds up to a D. I am sorry the semester was not successful for you. Please let me know if you have any further questions.

My best to you, Jenny Abeles

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